Ugly Paint
We have been working like mad on the house. More insulation in the roof as I get the money for it, patching cracks and stuffing more insulation into every little nook and cranny. It gets cold in here. I can't have that. Our little wood pellet stove is cranking out the heat on full blast - to the tune of $4.50 a day. If/when we get the insulation finished it will be about half that amount I"m thinking. Right now most of the heat is going up and out.
My brother in law (God bless him abundantly) has been coming for 2 weeks on his day off to finish the outside of the house. He was about 10 feet up on a ladder when he miss-stepped and fell off. He hurt his "good" ankle (the one sans screws and a metal plate) badly and had to take a couple of days off of work for his trouble. I feel horrible. He was trying to help us out and this happened. My sister has been coming with him and piddling around the house with thier children. It has happened that I have ahd to be gone each Sunday afternoon when they come to work.
I was given funds for paint and I bought paint for my bedroom nook. Oh goodness. It was supposed to be a pretty, neutral beigey color. It is mustard yellow. Dijon mustard yellow. I feel like a hot dog in there. Yuck. I bought a gallon of the cheap off-white at Wal-Mart today ( yeah I know - I'm trying to boycott but the bottom line is a factor these days) hoping it will cover it. If not then I am going to have the world's ugliest bedroom.
The Children:
Austin is not doing so well - he is very angry and short-tempered, yet will not really open up to me either. He is trying to shoulder the load and be the "man of the house". The younger ones don't appreciate that nearly as much as I do. I had an counseling appointment for them last week but it was canceled and the counselor hasn't called back yet to reschedule. He is coping but he is still a child. He needs to be a child not a man yet. God will work it for his good - I know this, but it is hard to see him grow up so fast.
Joshua isn't saying anything - his few comment have revoled around him maintaining that he doesn't have a father anymore. "A real father would not do this. If he divorces you then he divorces me." He is more whiny than usual and has been having some blow-ups at Abby on a fairly consistent basis. Otherwise he's not talking. He is my thinker. He has it figured in his mind and that's how it is.
Abby is veerry depressed. She hasn't wanted to brush her hair or put on clothes in the morning. And I have found her often laying down in her bed crying. Shawn seem oblivious to any of this and maintains they are "doing well". She lays down with me in the afternoons and wants to talk about this. That is good. I figure if she will talk about it with me she'll be alright eventually. And so far she's talking alot about it. She seems so lost though... and cries very easily.
Luke - Oh LUKE... it would take me a thousand pages to explain the setbacks this has caused him. He is wetting his pants CONSTANTLY now, having major meltdowns about once a day, is stemming at every turn, is becoming increasingly aggressive if he doesn't get his way... ugh... he is a full time job all by himself.
At the end of the day - actually BEFORE the end of the day - I am so exhausted mentally that I can barely function. The children need SO much from me. So very much. And I fail everyday and have to seek thier forgiveness. I have tried to have a snuggle fest at the end of each day, just sit and hold them all for awhile before going to sleep. But even that seems to be so hard after handling everything all day. I don't know how long I can do this all alone. We have taken off school since he left - no one could concentrate anyway, but we're going to start back up next Monday. The chldren need to. They are floating and flitting from here to there and that causes alot of anxiety in their little hearts. Their little world has spun off it's axis.
Anyone who reads this, continue to pray. I still need funds for an attorney, and time is running out on that. I have until December 16th to respond to his "petition" or he will be awarded his divorce without my consent or wishes being considered.
My brother in law (God bless him abundantly) has been coming for 2 weeks on his day off to finish the outside of the house. He was about 10 feet up on a ladder when he miss-stepped and fell off. He hurt his "good" ankle (the one sans screws and a metal plate) badly and had to take a couple of days off of work for his trouble. I feel horrible. He was trying to help us out and this happened. My sister has been coming with him and piddling around the house with thier children. It has happened that I have ahd to be gone each Sunday afternoon when they come to work.
I was given funds for paint and I bought paint for my bedroom nook. Oh goodness. It was supposed to be a pretty, neutral beigey color. It is mustard yellow. Dijon mustard yellow. I feel like a hot dog in there. Yuck. I bought a gallon of the cheap off-white at Wal-Mart today ( yeah I know - I'm trying to boycott but the bottom line is a factor these days) hoping it will cover it. If not then I am going to have the world's ugliest bedroom.
The Children:
Austin is not doing so well - he is very angry and short-tempered, yet will not really open up to me either. He is trying to shoulder the load and be the "man of the house". The younger ones don't appreciate that nearly as much as I do. I had an counseling appointment for them last week but it was canceled and the counselor hasn't called back yet to reschedule. He is coping but he is still a child. He needs to be a child not a man yet. God will work it for his good - I know this, but it is hard to see him grow up so fast.
Joshua isn't saying anything - his few comment have revoled around him maintaining that he doesn't have a father anymore. "A real father would not do this. If he divorces you then he divorces me." He is more whiny than usual and has been having some blow-ups at Abby on a fairly consistent basis. Otherwise he's not talking. He is my thinker. He has it figured in his mind and that's how it is.
Abby is veerry depressed. She hasn't wanted to brush her hair or put on clothes in the morning. And I have found her often laying down in her bed crying. Shawn seem oblivious to any of this and maintains they are "doing well". She lays down with me in the afternoons and wants to talk about this. That is good. I figure if she will talk about it with me she'll be alright eventually. And so far she's talking alot about it. She seems so lost though... and cries very easily.
Luke - Oh LUKE... it would take me a thousand pages to explain the setbacks this has caused him. He is wetting his pants CONSTANTLY now, having major meltdowns about once a day, is stemming at every turn, is becoming increasingly aggressive if he doesn't get his way... ugh... he is a full time job all by himself.
At the end of the day - actually BEFORE the end of the day - I am so exhausted mentally that I can barely function. The children need SO much from me. So very much. And I fail everyday and have to seek thier forgiveness. I have tried to have a snuggle fest at the end of each day, just sit and hold them all for awhile before going to sleep. But even that seems to be so hard after handling everything all day. I don't know how long I can do this all alone. We have taken off school since he left - no one could concentrate anyway, but we're going to start back up next Monday. The chldren need to. They are floating and flitting from here to there and that causes alot of anxiety in their little hearts. Their little world has spun off it's axis.
Anyone who reads this, continue to pray. I still need funds for an attorney, and time is running out on that. I have until December 16th to respond to his "petition" or he will be awarded his divorce without my consent or wishes being considered.
posted by Our Country Quest | 3:59 AM
1 Comments:
still praying kelly.
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