Falling in Love Again...

I just had to share - this Sunday after church we had lunch together (some of the families) and one of the moms who I don't know very well yet asked if I could give her a ride to a nearby town. Her husband had an errand to run and it would save them alot of time if I could drop her off at such and such rather than him driving all the way back to get her. Plus I didn't really know my way back without the family I follow there. So I took her to - - - Lowes. And someone bought me a brand new refridgerator (Fridgidare and 22cu.ft) and a brand new stove. Both white, both just what I wanted. Perfect. I was so worried about money yesterday morning but kept hearing the Lord say, "That's small fries! Just wait until you see what I'm doing for you TODAY!" I thought I was going nuts - here I can't make my electric bill yet this month and he has something planned bigger than that?? Well He did. So I wiped my eyes, fought the urge to just stay home and went. The sermon was awesome, another single mother, without her husband for 6 years now and he has since remarried, got up and spoke a bit about suffering. I was so encrouaged. And then the appliances.

I can bake for Christmas... God is so good.... I don't deserve ANY of it. None of His love, none of his mercy. And you know the pastor was talking alot about works and how God's love and mercy isn't dependant on those and I realized I have lived my whole adult life trying to please God. Now that's not wrong, but when I felt like I always felt short? ALWAYS missed the mark? NEVER could make Him happy? There was something totally messed up about that. So I cried through the sermon, repentant and loved up by God Himself, then he blesses me monetarily too. God is so good. I am in awe of his love for me . Why would He love me this much??? I am nothing. I have done nothing for Him, I have nothing to offer Him when it lays in the light of His glory - all of my "accomplishments" (which consist of 4 things: my children, and boy don't get me started on my failings there!) turn to dust in comparison of what He has done for me.

I always knew that works didn't save me (boy that's a hopeless endeavour). I always knew "God so loved..." but I have never felt this love for me - this unconditional, totally attached, He-loves-me-He-loves-me-He-loves-me!! kind of love. I feel like I just dipped my toe in an unending fountain. I can't even begin to understand how much he cares for me. For ME?!?!? For ME!!!!

I'm falling in love again...