Need to kick it in gear...

I just have lost my zing this week. Totally. And I'm not sure why? I am depressed again - that kind that makes me want to just sleep and nothing else? You know the drill... after a few days you realize you've been wearing your sleeping sweat pants several days straight and one of your children ask if you lost your brush. Your husband asks if you're alright with that look that says, "You're not alright at ALL." Ugh...

I would attribute it to several things probably. 1) we still have no flooring down and boy am I getting tired of the dirt. No matter how much I sweep or mop the dirt is still here. 2) out sewer system is totally NOT moving and our installer hasn't called to update us on the plans in, oh - about 2 months. Neither will he return our calls. I'm sure he's jsut really busy but still? 3) I had a total sigar binge this weekend with pecan pie. Oh wow was it good. But I've felt like a slug all week. A high price to pay considering I felt the best I have felt in YEARS last week. 4) there are decision that need to be made about church and none are made yet. That is so hard. So we're out of a church right now. We found one that looks really good but it's over an hour away and Shawn says that's too far to drive. It is a long way. 5) Family sitations are no better than they were 6 months ago with no change in sight.

Ugh.... I just want to crawl in bed and stay there with the covers over my face for - oh, maybe a month?

Lean on Jesus

Shawn wrote this song at work yesterday and came home and played it. By the second time through all 3 of the children had their instruments out and were playing along. It was so wonderful. God gave me the vision to have them playing together with Shawn and I singing a long time ago and it has come to bear fruit. PRaise the Lord!!!
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Lean on Jesus
Copyright 2006 Shawn Midkiff

When times and days and seasons come
and you think that you're the only one
walkin' through this life with pain and strife.
When it seems that you're lost your way
and the Lord seems so far away
just remember the Lord is by your side.

CHORUS
Lean on Jesus, Lean on Jesus
for Jesus will be your closest friend
Lean on Jesus, lean on Jesus
For Jesus will be with you 'til the end.

Just remember what Elijah said
to the Lord, "I'm the only one left."
When he was in the cave all alone.
But the Lord God's hand gently came down
"My son you're not the only one found,
for I have 7000 just like you."

CHORUS

Now I know how hard this life can be
and what it's like to raise a family
raising your children to serve Him.
But the first example that they see,
in this life will be you and me
so let us serve the Lord and lean on Him.

CHORUS

Yes when you lean on Jesus you'll make it to the end.

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This is really very very good and I would love to have it recorded. Shawn sings and the children all play. I don't know how or where to go about doing that, but I sure would love to see it done so family history's sake if nothing else. :-)

Blessed Sabbath Rest

This was, almost by far, the best Sunday we have had as a family in a long time. We woke up and Shawn led us in family devotions around the kitchen table after breakfast (eggs and bacon). The children each read part of the verses and asked questions, gave opinions, interacted. They all commented later in the day how much they enjoyed it. We napped, rested... talked... snuggled... the perfect day for it too as it rained softly for most of the day.

Oh - on the eggs and bacon. I figured out a way to cook breakfast while I am in the shower!!!! I sprayed 2 large jellyroll pans with Pam cooking spray and laid out a pound of bacon on one. On the other I broke 9 eggs (though we could have eaten a dozen because everybody really liked them this way) after spraying it with cooking spray too. I didn't stir them or anything, jsut slated and peppered and put it all in the oven. I baked them both on 375 for about half an hour. And whaalah! Poached eggs (or close) with bacon. No grease spatters either. This will come in handy when I get up at 5am to cook Shawn's breakfast before work.

Last evening we had a wonderful time of fellowship with our friends Shawn & Christine & family in celebration of their son's birthday. There was a medeival theme and we ate taco's with no utensils!!! Too fun!!! The boys were awarded their knights-in-training sheilds after passing the test for chivalry. Too too fun!

I was browsing a blog I visit every so often and came across this article on homemaking. It is a very concise, well-written argument for biblical homekeeping. Check it out.

Homemaking Re-Thought

Crispy Treats

I woke up this morning, having slept with one eye open all night, to find the pellet stove still plugging away. We installed it yesterday and sat around the fire last night, no TV, I was knitting, Shawn was reading to the children. It was wonderful. I commented something like, "Why can't every evening be like this?" to which Shawn replied, "Umm... 'cause I'd go crazy?" HAhAha! He turned the tv on after the children were in bed to catch the weather.

I went into the kitchen this morning to make coffee and realized we are OUT. Ugh... not fun... so I'm sipping on coffee made from yesterday's grounds (can we saw EW?!). I thought about making pancakes for breakfast but it's too cold in the kitchen. There is just a little bit of insulation left to put up there and the wind is whipping right up and through it. So my toothbrush was FRIGID when I picked it up off of the window sill. Ahh.... I wonder what pioneers did for tooth brushes? I'm judging from the fact that they never showed their teeth in photos that they were probably mostly rotten. yuck. In any case, I'm sure it was colder for them to brush than it is for me. Nice and toasty in the rest of the house.

Hammers

I always enjoyed hammering and building things and prided myself in only having hit my finger RARELY if ever. Well, it would seem my pride needed a knock-down because I hit my finger yesterday while installed the tin in the shower SO hard I yelled for like 5 minutes. The kids start laughing... if I hadn't yelled I would have said a bad word I'm afraid. Oh Lord how it hurt! It still does! It raised a blood blister on the side and everything. Hope I don't lose my nail. Ouch. I can't touch anything with that thumbnail. It was my left hand though so I hope it doesn't interfere with too much. I couldn't hold the knitting needles yesterday though - yikes. That's bad. I am officially addicted to knitting.

Instead of counting sheep at night I find myself knitting imaginary patterns... it relaxes me so much.

Baking Day

I have some bread in mind to make today, and I thought I'd make muffins for breakfasts and maybe some Pumpkin Cookies I got the recipe for. I'll post it if it turns out well.

I don't usually read Mother Earth News, but it caught my eye this month so I bought it. This article was a real eye-opener! Why You Don't Need Antibacterial Soap . I knew there was a reason I feel better about my homemade soap floating down my kitchen drain. I know I'll never buy it again. I mean increasing the incidents of "blue baby" syndrome in newborns??? Wow.... I'm using the last of my soap made last summer and I need to make some more. I don't think I"ll scent the batch this time. I got tired of the smell after awhile. Maybe if it was lemon or something I wouldn't mind it but a person can get sick or gardenia month after month. hehehe

The shower is mostly installed now. I lost the little wrench for taking off the faucet handle, which with it on there I cannot install the tin on the wall behind it. GGrrrr.... I know I put it in the toolbox but it has disappeared. I knew I would need it again. I'm thinking it's metric too because none of our wrenches will fit it. Anyhow, it worked really well - no glitches and it looks so COOL! I'll post a picture when it's all done. :o) Votes for what color I should paint the wall above it? The metal is silver of course, and I thought about blue but it will look pretty chilly in there, so then I thought about lavendar or maybe even red - go with a farm theme you know? So anyhow... VOTE!

Don't Ride the Goats

The children (quite innocently) asked me if the goats could be ridden. I explained that they couldn't - that it is too much work for them and they need their energy for milk-making.

So, only my children would do this right? They not only disobeyed me, but took PICTURES of it! Ugh... I had to laugh when asked why they had done so, they reasoned, "Well... we thought we could just have less milk tomorrow for a ride today. Since the milk is for us you know."

Should have been a bit more explicit I guess.

Bathroom Project & other Ramblings

We have the shower stall materials now... it is (did you guess?) a very unorthodox material but I saw it on HGTV - does that make it more acceptable? My Dad said it will be like on M*A*S*H* ... took me a minute to get that. hahahaha

We are going to go with a farm theme in the bathroom and chair-rail height down to the floor and inside the shoer stall will be galvanized metal! Barn tin! Oh it looked so cool and all I could think about when I saw it was how easy it will be to clean up "spills" behind the toilet vs. a painted wall! :-) We will trim it out with pine then the upper part of the walls will be... ummm... either lavender or a steely blue color. Don't know yet.

As of now we have plastic hanging from the ceiling in there to form a "shower stall. The only trouble with that (and I never thought I'd have ANY complaints about ANY kind of hot shower after 4 months of cold baths) is that the heat makes the plastic sortof suck in and stick to oneself while showering. Yuck. Then you have to kind of peel it off periodically... it's sortof like showering in a plastic bag. HA! HA! HA! Oh it's too funny.

Still no progres on our sewer system. We are watering our lawn with the shower water now though - no more buckets hallelujah. The last report we got was that the overflow pond woul dhave to be moved probably requiring a PUMP for the sewage then since our land is sloped and where they said it should be moved would mean a pump needing to be installed. Another $1500 or so. NO big deal right?

And our minivan broke down AGAIN Saturday while we were at the building center buying insulation for our VERY cold roof upstairs. The kids requested that I knit them new stocking hats. I commented that it's a bit warm for that isn't it?

"They're for sleeping in Mom!"

Oh...

The Passing of Time

When the aged learn to lean upon another's arm,
they oft times gasp out in dismay at their impending harm.

And when the aged learn to lean it is often with a fight.
On their own two feet they learned to fly only now to lose that right?

When the aged learn to lean they die a little inside.
Once esteemed and full of life - the loss is too painful to hide.

When the aged learn to lean sometimes the light goes out.
The loss of brilliance, hope and strength leaves them full of doubt.

For when the aged learn to lean it is at no small cost.
Once tall and proud the man sits down feeling all is lost.

God grant grace to us today (for one day we'll learn to lean)
as we fold up and neatly put away our parent's liberty.

We had an episode with my Dad last night. The dr. says he probably has early onset dementia of some sort but we don't know what kind. He is diabetic but doesn't tkae care of himself. He has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, hgh everything that's bad, low everything that's good. The sadness of this kind of illness sometimes overwhelms me. He used to be so strong. So capable. So smart. Now, he calls to ask me mulitplication facts and doesn't recognize tools he once used nor remembers how to use them at all. It is sad... so very sad... death would be easier. Many children of Alzheimer sufferes feel this way. Because the memory of their parents is slowly replaced by the changes the disease causes.

A blue day as I contemplate my own aging, what my children will do when faced with this, my health, changes I need to make, the future. I know Who holds the future but I do not like what might be in store.